Weeks turned to days...

It is now a little over day until my departure from Miami. I could not be more ready to leave, not so much physically, but mentally and spiritually.

My mom is calling it "separation anxiety," the trouble and arguments that I've been having with my "friends." For the last month something changed between myself and my friends, the people that I once thought would be there at my wedding, being the godmothers of my children, suddenly were all gone. Going back to what mom said, this being separation anxiety, know body really knows how to deal with this head on, accept it for what it is and learn how to cope. Instead, they are picking little fights and being so childish that it makes me want to leave.

It's crazy how much better I am dealing with the loss of the girls, versus how it was last summer with eggs and susi. One person makes dealing with everything so much easier, without even really doing anything in particular... but just by being. They are the one person, besides my mom and Alegra that make me want to stay in Miami. The one person who I want to come home for. It makes me sad that we've only come into each others life now, when I am leaving, but at the same time, it's as if we both know that there is a lifetime of togetherness... well at least the lifetime of us together.

I don't know if I will ever really be able to call somebody a best again. Every time I give someone the privilage of that title, it gets all screwed up, I get dropped. It gets to the point that I question myself, my actions and who I am; I have to keep reminding myself that I am a good person, and that I live my life in the best way possible for me, and if people don't like that or they are holding me down in a way, then I am better off without them.

This is the quote of the day that I have been reflecting on:

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.